Having strict parents may affect later relationships, New Study

“To maintain healthy relationships, it is important to be able to assert one’s own beliefs during a disagreement while also continuing to be warm toward the person,” said lead author Barbara Oudekerk, a psychologist at the University of Virginia in Charlottesville.

For the study, 184 teens were interviewed at age 13 and again at age 18, answering questions about how often their parents exerted psychological control. The researchers were specifically interested in manipulative techniques such as using guilt, withdrawing love or developing anxiety.

The researchers also assessed the teens’ ability to reason, express confidence, display autonomy and connect with friends at ages 13, 18 and 21.

Previous studies had shown that teens who struggle with confidently expressing their opinions during a disagreement are were prone to use hostile methods in their own relationships and experience more depression in adulthood.

“In this study, we examined psychological control on a continuum, and found that the more psychological control parents exerted, the more difficulties teens had establishing a sense of independence and closeness during a disagreement with close friends and romantic partners,” said lead author Barbara Oudekerk, a psychologist at the University of Virginia.

“To maintain healthy relationships, it is important to be able to assert one’s own beliefs during a disagreement while also continuing to be warm toward the person,” Oudekerk said.

What we can learn from the study is that, “if you find yourself withdrawing love from your child when they misbehave or ignoring them for extended periods of time, this may be a warning sign that you’re being too psychologically controlling,” said Laura Walker at Brigham Young University.

“I think children will also let parents know when they’re feeling controlled, so pay attention to your child’s cues, they’re not often subtle,” Walker added.

Agencies/Canadajournal