Police Release Suicide Notes Left by teen Suspects in the Slaying of Officer German

A British teenager and her American boyfriend suspected of the fatal shooting of a US police officer both left what appear to be suicide notes before they were found dead.

US police officials said notes apparently written by 17-year-old Alexandria Hollinghurst – originally from the UK – and Brandon Goode, 18, were recovered before the pair were found dead in undergrowth in Florida on Saturday.

In one note, Hollinghurst tells her mother, “I could write you for days, but I know nothing would actually make a difference to you.” She goes on to say, “Please understand that when people compare us, I vomit on the inside. If I had stayed another minute I would have painted the walls and stained the carpets with my blood, so you could clean it up.”

Two other notes, one to Hollinghurt’s father and sister were also found.

“I hope you never take a wrong turn like I did,” Hollinghurst writes in a letter addressed to her sister Hannah. “I hope you realize that you are ever so beautiful. I love you.”

“I love you to death, but I just couldn’t do it anymore. Every day became harder and harder,” Hollinghurst says to her father.

In a the note that Goode left addressed to “My loving parents,” he says “I am sorry for all the pain and misery I have brought you both.”

He goes on to say, “Please don’t be sad, this is what I want now. I get to die peacefully with the woman of my dreams, my fiance (Yes, we were engaged.)”

A note from Goode indicates the two may have been planning to run away together by stealing a boat in Clearwater and sailing to Panama.

Other notes found include to-do lists, a letter Hollinghurst wrote to Goode on March 10 and two notes titled “Things we’re gonna do on 10/29/14 and after” and “Why we’re together/ soul mates.”

Goode’s family released a statement on Wednesday.

“We are heartbroken and overwhelmed with grief. We cannot comprehend the senseless loss of Officer German’s life, the death of Alexandria Hollinghurst and for our family, the loss of our 18-year-old son, Brandon. Words do not exist to express the measure of our sorrow and sadness. Our deepest sympathy and our heartfelt prayers go out to the friends and family of Officer German. We are so, so sorry to them for what happened and they will be forever in our prayers. We know a community grieves and like everyone else in our community, we ourselves are struggling to understand this most horrific tragedy. We have no answers, only questions. Whether mental illness, substance abuse or something else, we are a family searching. We choose and wish to cooperate openly and fully with law enforcement as they mourn the loss of their fallen brother and search for answers that we don’t have. We must now ask for privacy. The pain we are each experiencing is unimaginable. There is a young step brother and step sister that desperately need solitude and love. We ask that you respect this situation and understand that they are innocent and too many have been hurt already. We humbly and prayerfully ask that we be allowed to grieve privately as we continue our own very painful journey towards understanding. As such there will be no more public statements.”

Investigators said Goode and Hollinghurst were walking along the road when German saw them and called for backup about 3:30 a.m. When officers arrived, German was found with a gunshot wound; he was later pronounced dead at Orlando Regional Medical Center.

In October 2012, Brandon Goode’s mother, Connie Goode, claimed he attacked her with an ax, according to an arrest report. He was arrested on aggravated assault charges and taken to jail.

Brandon Goode was also arrested during a traffic stop several weeks ago on charges of marijuana possession, alcohol possession by a minor and for allegedly having drug paraphernalia.

Hollinghurst has no criminal history.

Read the notes from Hollinghurst transcribed below:

Mum,

I could write to you for days, but I know nothing would actually make a difference to you. You are much too ignorant and self concerned to even attempt to listen or understand, everyone knows that.

Thank you, for trying to talk and understand me. After me being honest, after trying to fix things, thank you for turning a conversation about depression and suicide into something all about you.

Please understand that when people compare us, I vomit on the inside.

And thank you for accusing me of being annerexic, FOR YEARS. Im so (expletive) sorry for being skinny. If I were, your (expletive) comments that I’m assuming were your attempt to help, wouldn’t have.

If I had stayed another minute I would have painted the walls and stained the carpets with my blood, so you could clean it up.

You are a waste of space, ignorant, and a rotten (expletive). I wish I were never born.

Dear Hannah,

I need you to know that you’ve always been my favorite, my number one. You’re so much younger but you’re a better person than me, you always have been. I hope you never take a wrong turn like I did, I hope you continue to grow. I hope you overcome the insecurity and I hope you realize that you are ever so beautiful. I love you.

Dad,

I’m so sorry I continue to disappoint you. I’m so sorry I’ve changed. I wish we could rewind. I love you to death, but I just couldn’t do it anymore. Everyday became harder and harder. I know you can’t understand, and I don’t expect you to. And I don’t know what to tell you other than I really am sorry but I know you won’t believe me. I’m sorry.

Read the note from Goode transcribed below:

To my loving parents,

I am sorry for all the pain and misery I have brought you both, not just now but from these past few years as well. I don’t want to go through life knowing because of my mistakes that I amounted to nothing and was there for a disappointment. Don’t take that as me putting the blame on you because that is the farthest thing from the truth. Both of you have been so amazing with your constant help and support through my life. I love you both so much and I wish it didn’t have to come to this but because of my choices in life this is how it has to be. Dad you have been an excellent father and have gave so much for me, it’s my turn to return the favor, I can’t have any of the come back and hurt you and risk everything you have achieved in your life. Mom I am sorry for everything I’ve ever said to you and done to you. All you were trying to do was be the good mother that you are. I don’t want to cause you anymore pain after this or have you worry about me anymore. I am truly sorry for this and everything else. I love you both so much, I love you with all my heart. Please don’t be sad, this is what I want now, I get to die peacefully with the woman I love, the woman of my dreams, my fiancée (yes we were engaged!). I miss ya both so much already. I love you mom. I love you dad.

Agencies/Canadajournal